God told me He loved me. I read it in His word. I always believed it. I Never turned away. It’s always been more true than the breath in my lungs.
But when your daddy gave me his love, I felt God say, “Now you will learn to live.”
And when I first looked in your eyes, Izzy, I saw Jesus. He said, “Katie, I trust you with this lovely little one. She will teach you how to be brave.”
Eva, I was terrified to be your mama. I spent many nights afraid. And each time, the Lord whispered in my ear, “I gave you this one special. She will teach you how to delight.”
When I hold you, my girls, I know that the Lord is holding me. I always knew He was real, but through you two, I feel Him. I feel His love.
And I love being your mama.
I love getting up in the middle of the night. Not because it’s easy, but because you need me and I am able to be there.
I love the long, tiring days. Not because they are easy, but because I am teaching you now how to be brave. How to delight. How to live.
All I do, I do for you. That you will ultimately know the love of the Savior that gave you to me. It’s all about Him.
It’s about now. It’s about eternity. Every step. A building block upon the one set before it. Every little thing I do for you, a treasure uncovered, a jewel tucked away, powerful words that will return when you need them most.
Not because I was ever strong enough. But because He gave you to me and He makes me strong. And as I hope you will one day realize, a mama can do almost anything. Those songs that talk about crossing mountains and oceans take on a whole new meaning now.
Because I would for you.
But for now, all you need me to do is play dollhouse and Mr. Potato head. And so… I will. For you.